My Old 404... Back but less Scripty (sorry I lost that part)

The requested document is... well... it's gone.
I'm really depressed about this.
You see, I'm just a web server...
Here I am, brain the size of the universe, trying to serve you a simple web page, and then
it doesn't even exist!
Where does that leave me?!
I mean, I don't even know you... how should I know what you wanted from me?
You honestly think I can *guess* what someone I don't even *know* wants to find here?
*sigh*
Man, I'm so depressed I could just cry.
And then where would we be, I ask you?
It's not pretty when a web server cries.
And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
Just because I'm a web server, and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
Huh?
I'm so depressed...
I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and decompose.
I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?
What kind of a life is that?
Two effin' weeks, and then I'll be replaced by a .01 release that thinks it's God's gift
to web servers just because it doesn't have some tiddly little security hole with
its HTTP POST implementation or something.
I'm really sorry to burden you with all this, I mean, it's not your job to listen to
my problems, and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you.
But I couldn't get this one.
I'm so sorry.
Believe me!
Maybe I could interest you in another page?
There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say, although none of them
were put on *my* server, of course.
Figures, huh?
Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.
That makes me depressed too, since I still have to serve them all day and all night long.
Two weeks of information overload, and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
What kind of a life is that?
Now, please let me sulk alone.
I'm so depressed.